Sadly, No! introduces us to Mr. John Spencer, the new New York Republican sheriff in town.

Interesting, yes?

You don't know the half of it.

Meet the man who wants to take Hillary on

A principled conservative who can win.

As a candidate and public servant, Spencer has been proud to run and win with the Conservative Party of New York’s endorsement.  John Spencer has always clearly and unashamedly taken a principled stand for his pro-life, pro-marriage, pro-growth, pro-2nd amendment, and anti-illegal immigration positions.  As our candidate for the U.S. Senate, Spencer will provide a clear contrast to Senator Clinton’s views.  If we nominate a Republican who agrees with Senator Clinton on these issues, we are destined to lose.

As a self-made man, John Spencer worked his way up from construction worker to real estate management and knows firsthand the challenges that working class families face to make ends meet. He found his purpose in fatherhood and was not afraid to roll up his sleeves and work hard to provide for his family. His devotion to every aspect of his older children's lives, Jennifer and John, led to his active participation in the community. This was the beginning of his involvement in politics as a vehicle for social change. Since remarried, John and his wife Kathy are the proud parents of three young children, Kaitlyn, Patrick and James.

Isn't that sweet?

Let's discuss that "since remarried"

For most of his mayoralty, rumors swirled that Spencer was having an affair with his unmarried chief of staff, Kathy Spring, who bore two children during that time. For years, Spencer refused to discuss the relationship or address the possibility of a conflict of interest involving Spring, a City Hall staff member who saw her annual salary increase to $138,000 from $52,000 working for Spencer.

In 2002, after announcing a possible run for Westchester county executive — he was barred from seeking a third mayoral term by his own 1994 term-limits law — Spencer publicly acknowledged that he had fathered Spring's children. After finalizing a divorce from his wife, Eileen, Spencer married Spring, now 43.

"I met her when I was going through matters of the heart with my first wife," he said. "My children ... were conceived in love."

He said his infidelity was "ironically" in the public interest. "I didn't have to make an appointment with my chief of staff to go over everything. That's all we did."

Mr. Spencer apparently did not mention his public-spirited adultery with his chief of staff to the reporter who wrote this glowing portrait in the New York Times, in which he namechecked his traditional values and the family he was, apparently, no longer living with.

He was, you see, waiting for his divorce to become final before marrying Ms. Spring (prudent, really) although not before moving in with her and fathering two babies.

Other assets Mr. Spencer brings to the race: dicey friends, finely-honed racial sensitivities, impulse-control issues and a spot on an FBI surveillance tape (Mr. Spencer explains that the Gambino family couldn't have given him money because there are no records showing that he received that amount in a lump sum).

He's having a little trouble fundraising, but he did give his wife and some political allies and his wife's family and friends and friends and family of his political allies (many of whom, astonishingly, had management jobs in Yonkers city government) big retroactive raises on his way out of his (term-limited) job, so maybe they can lend him some.

The teachers sure can't. There were big cutbacks that year in the Yonkers schools. You'll be amazed to hear that they just couldn't find the money (there's quite a story there too, but that's for another day).

Ladies and Gentleman, the Conservative Republican frontrunner for the New York Senate (I guess Al Pirro was busy), running on a program of family values.

Helluva deep bench you guys got there.